Their Romcom Pisses Me Off
by Writer-senpai
Summary: How cliched can they get? If anyone made a story with those two as the protagonists, then we'd have a really bland story that would make millions. A/N: More characters will be added later on. And I'll keep the pairings secret for as long as I can.
1. Chapter 1

People always tell you that fiction is very different from reality.

Of course I'm not talking about the kind of fiction that has a guy in a cape flying through the skies, or the kind of fictions where monsters or genetically altered animals run rampant.

What I'm talking about is the romantic comedy fiction.

The whole boy meets girl scenario is not going to happen just like in fiction.

At least, that's what I thought until one fateful day, having turned a corner on my way to school, a collision happened.

A boy and a girl bumped into each other.

They laughed awkwardly and the boy helped the girl up while saying that he was sorry because he had been in a hurry. The girl waves him off with a gentle smile on her flushed face, and tells him that it was all her fault for now looking where she was going.

All the while, I stood there and watched as my childhood friend – and secret crush – blushed and laughed with a guy she had just met, in a way that I had never seen before. Neither had she and yet he was bringing out a side to her that I had never seen.

Was this bashful girl with a sweet smile really the girl I grew up with? The tomboy who liked to run, fight with brooms, and who liked every Star Wars movie except for the prequels?

Had I only known a part of her in a sense?

If that's the case then that means that if she never showed this side to me, I never had a chance with her in the first place. Looking at her, laughing with the clown with silver hair, made me feel that there was never nothing outside of friendship between us.

All the smiles, friendly nudges on the shoulder, and the times when we would just look into each others eyes; everything had been one-sided on my part.

This is usually the part where a guy declares that he's going to fight to win her over or be seen in a different light by the girl they like, but I'm not that kind of person.

Not a fighter.

The guy is tall, toned, and wears a school uniform shirt that's easily two sizes too small.

Compared to my lanky messy haired self, it's obvious who Kairi is going to go for.

It's like me getting in the ring with a professional boxer. Why go through several rounds of hell when I can just throw in the towel now and obtain the same result? This way I can pretend that if I had tried to win Kairi over, I would have done so. A perfect excuse to fall back on.

Yeah. I was still young, only fourteen years old. There were other girls I would meet.

Yes. That's true.

And yet, I can't help but feel pain when I see the two of them walking away. Pain and humiliation at being forgotten so easily by the person I consider my closest friend.

To make things even worse, it's my very first day of high school.

People told me high school was hell, but I had no idea that it would fuck me up before I even set foot on the school.

* * *

A lot can change in a year.

Just a year ago I had been crazy close to my childhood friend. Now a year later, I barely talk to her, though it's mostly because I really went out of my way to avoid her.

We didn't live close anymore, she had moved a couple of years ago, and – get this – Riku, the clown with silver hair, lives next door to her now, which means the clown is rich as well. Ha. It's like fate likes to fuck with me.

So yeah, the thing I said about fiction and reality, well that stuff really got thrown out the window as Riku and Kairi ran through every cliché in the book.

First they met. Next they made a club, the 'literary club,' which is really just a font for them to hang out. Of course, Riku being the 'boy' in this story, they got more members who happen to all be girls. I'm well past the point of it driving me crazy, but it's still frustratingly funny how perfect that clown's life is.

Meanwhile, my parents got divorced in my first year of high school, and I no longer have friends because I pushed the ones I had away, and made no effort to make new ones; both of these can be attributed to me having a shitty life and being in a terrible mood for all my first year.

Now I'm in my second year and things aren't looking up at all.

Classes just ended and I'm walking through the halls of school, taking the long way yet again, because I saw Kairi with Riku on my way out yesterday. Thankfully they didn't notice me.

"Sora, could you hold on for a second?"

Hmm?

I turned to see the student teacher in my class, Aqua was her name I think. She was in my first class since the second week of school, so she's been here for roughly a month.

"I wanted to talk to you about something important."

"What's wrong? Did I forget an assignment or something?"

If I did, I really don't care.

"No. You're okay," she smiled.

Bright. Too bright.

The aura coming off this woman is freaking me out.

"I talked with the teachers and they have let me start a new club in school. A club that I want you to take part in."

"Sorry, but I can't stay after school. I got stuff to do at home."

"Don't worry about that, we've already talked with your mother and she says that you can do it."

What the hell? They called my mom? Why?

The shock must have been noticeable on my face, as Aqua smiled and went on.

"She's worried about you, and knows, just as I do, that this club can help you."

Yeah right. If mom was so worried about me, then maybe she would stop drinking every night.

"Now come with me, I'll show you the clubroom."

I bit back an excuse, knowing it wouldn't help, and followed after her.

At least we were walking deeper into the school, meaning that I wouldn't have to see Kairi.

* * *

Our walk took us to the very back of the school, to a closed classroom right next to the janitor's closet.

"Come in." Aqua smiled, her sickly bright smile, and opened the door.

I stepped in and – though I hate to admit it – was at a loss of words.

Sitting on a chair next to an open window, with blond hair like silk flowing with the wind, was a blue-eyed girl with a notebook on her lap, and a pencil held in her delicate feelings.

"I'm back Namine, this is the other member that I was talking about."

My mouth dried up as she looked at me.

"He looks like a creep."

There goes my first impression of you.

"Now, don't say that Namine," Aqua laughed awkwardly, probably sensing the tension between me and the blond haired bitch. "This is Sora, he's going to be a member here as well. And now that you're together, I can go over the goals and duties of this club!"

Oh yeah, that sounds fun.

I took the chair from the table next to the blond bitch, and moved it to the other end of the room where I sat.

Aqua looked between us nervously before she put on her bright smile and began.

"This club doesn't have a name yet. I thought it would be fun if you two could come up with one. But that's for after you hear what this club is about."

Well, based on that girls terrible personality, and my own unique yet charming look of life, I'm guessing this is not a club but a containment zone to keep us from infecting other students with our attitudes.

"Both of you have had some problems with making friends with your classmates and I wanted to change that."

Oh, so I was right.

"You two will be taking anonymous requests from students, and help teachers with any assignments they have for you. I believe that this will make the two of you closer and more social with your other classmates."

"I apologize, but I have no obligation to be here for someone's pet project," Namine said in a curt voice.

I nodded, "She's right. Please make her leave."

"Nobody's leaving," Aqua cut in when she saw the glared Namine threw my way. I don't think I'll ever say this again, but thank you Aqua.

"This club will affect your grades negatively if you quit or don't work hard."

"That's not fair," Namine objected, "You can't bring down my grades just because you feel like it."

"All of your teachers agreed on this condition. Even your parents did."

"You called my parents?"

"She does that," I added.

Aqua clapped her hands and put on her excited face again, "In any case. Please work hard, both of you. I will work on getting you new members but for now have this."

She put a folder on the table.

"This has your very first assignment from a teacher," Aqua grinned, "Good luck."

After saying that, she left the room.

Dammit. Now there won't be any witnesses if this girl tries to kill me.

Well, I might as well look into the assignment so I can go home faster.

Getting off my chair, I walked to the table and opened the folder. Inside was a simple paper with the written words: _"Please clean up my classroom (Room 115). Thank you."_

Do it yourself dick.

"We have to clean a classroom," I said to Namine, who looked at me blankly before sighing and standing up.

"Fine," she said while placing her notebook on the desk. "Let's get this over with."

* * *

The sky was beginning to be painted in orange and red by the time we were done cleaning the classroom.

And when I say _we_ I mean **me**.

Namine had _looked_ the part. Putting her head into a bun and rolling up her white sleeves, but when she tried to pick up a desk to move, it slipped from her hands and came down on her foot. She was okay, but I still wordlessly took over what she was doing. In the end, she ended up shouting orders the whole time.

As it turned out, she was as clumsy as she was irritable.

"I suppose we can go home now that we're done with cleaning that classroom," Namine said as soon as the two of us stepped into an empty hallway.

Again, using _we_ in this situation is not correct.

"Since she didn't tell us to talk to anybody after I was done, I guess it's okay for us to leave."

Namine frowned at me, "What's with that haughty tone of yous?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

She crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently, "You're trying to say I wasn't much help."

"Do or do not, there is no try."

"So you're saying you **were** implying it."

"I'm saying I **am** implying it."

She clicked her tongue, "It's not my fault that manual labor suits you. What else can I expect from someone who was practically undressing me with his eyes earlier?"

"While I admit I stared at you when I first came into the classroom, there was no undressing. To me, you were like a car crash, terrible but I still couldn't look away."

"You're not much to look at yourself. I've seen toothpicks built bigger than you."

Okay, that one hurt.

"Oh yeah, well-"

"Sora?"

My words died in my throat when I spotted _her_. Walking over to us with a friendly smile.

"What are you doing here? You don't usually stay after school."

"I uh..."

Namine looked between us and tried to walk away, but stopped when _her_ eyes landed on her.

"You too Namine," _she_ paused, taking a small break to giggle, "It's weird to see you guys together."

"I know. The only time I'm around things like him is when I'm in a zoo."

"Whoa, no need to talk about your home like that," I muttered, but not quietly enough to avoid being heard, and was subjected to a heated glare from the blond.

But unlike last time, she smiled in a way that sent chills down my spine.

"Oh Sora, you're such a joker."

Huh? What stopped her from answering in an even worse way? Hey, if you don't one up me, then I'll look like a dick.

"I'm glad to see that you guys are friends," _she_ smiled.

"We're not," Namine and I replied at the same time, causing _her_ to giggle.

"Sorry, but I have to go. It was nice seeing you," _she_ began to walk away but stopped mid-step and looked back at me, "And we have to hang out again, I feel like it's been a while."

Sorry, but I have enough self respect to hang out with someone who just remembered my existence in a random afterthought.

"Sure, maybe."

 _She_ smiled and finally left after giving a wave.

As soon as she turned to one of the other hallways, I let out a sigh.

"You have some sort of history with her," Namine pointed out.

"Shut up."

She smiled smugly, "Did you have a crush on her?"

I frowned and wordlessly tugged her hair bun, causing it to come down and cover her face.


	2. Chapter 2

An unforeseen problem has come up.

This was rare since I had a whole year to learn the ways of the loner. Of course there were problems at first, but those experiences had helped in preventing any of them from occurring again.

Up until now my new school year had looked pretty good, but all good things must come from an end. I know that better than anybody. But still, I never expected things to go so wrong. Every now and then I get the feeling that I was a real dick in a past life, since karma really loved to ride my ass.

I can't help but feel pissed. A whole year of learning had just gone down the drain.

My lessons weren't as simple as I thought.

It turns out that being alone in school actually had steps to it. First you would start with mastering the morning, then move on to lunch, and lastly the final bell.

Mornings were tricky. I **had** to leave my house early – still do – and I would head straight for school at first. However, doing this was not a good idea. If I got there too early, then I would be sitting at my desk for a long time and risk someone walking up to me and start talking. So I did the opposite.

I would walk around for a while and then come to school as late as I could without being late. This solved the problem of sitting in a classroom full of chatty people, but it also caused most of the people in the classroom to turn their attention on me for being so late.

Now I arrive at my class at exactly seven minutes before the bell rings. This gives me enough time to settle in my desk while other people are talking, get my notebook out along with pencils and stuff, and if an old friend looked my way, I could just pretend to be looking for something in my backpack.

Of course, now I don't have to worry about old friends trying to talk to me since they appear to have given up.

This worked for my first year in high school, but today my process was challenged. I even looked at the clock in the hallway to make sure that I was right on time and it looked like I was.

So why was _she_ standing outside of my classroom talking with a couple of girls?

 _She_ and I had different classes, so why was she here?

Well, not like I can't be late for my first class.

 _She_ still hadn't noticed me so I skillfully hid my presence and headed for the one place where anyone could hide in school.

The restrooms.

I heard some of the hardcore loners would eat their lunch there but it would be incredibly arrogant of me to put myself in their level. Maybe some day...

The clock marked that class started in just six minutes so the restrooms _should_ be empty and I could stay there until after I heard the bell.

* * *

Exactly two minutes after the bell rang I was making my way back to my classroom. It was a bit pathetic how I went out of my way to avoid _her_ , but I couldn't help it. There was something about _her_ that triggered my flight-or-fight response, and I wasn't about to box her.

As I turned to the small hallway where my first class was, my legs stopped moving and I had to keep myself from groaning when I saw that _she_ was still there, standing against a wall all alone.

With no other people in the hallway to drown out my footsteps, _she_ noticed me without problem.

"You're still late for classes," _she_ giggled with a smile. "Still a lazy bum I see?" _She_ added playfully.

"What are you doing here?"

If my tone carried any of the dread I was feeling, it didn't appear to affect _her._

"I'm sorry I had to run yesterday, but I really meant that I wanted us to hang out more. It feels like it's been forever," _she_ walked to my side and punched my shoulder lightly. "I want my best buddy back."

It only took you a **year** to want your _best buddy_ back? Sorry, but I'm not buying it. _She_ **has** to have an ulterior motive for this. Maybe the clown with silver hair is not paying enough attention and _she_ is trying to make him jealous. Yeah, that has to be it, why else would _she_ suddenly start asking about me?

"I'm a lot busier than I was before."

Not a lie.

"With school and stuff to do at home, I don't have a lot of free time."

"Come on Sora, that doesn't mean we can't hang out on the weekends or something."

Why was _she_ so freaking stubborn? Granted, I'm not outright saying 'no' but this is getting ridiculous. Now I remember that _she_ really can't take a hint or read the mood. It was both a curse and a gift since she never realized my feelings for her back then.

Taking that into consideration I decided to cut my loses and give in, that way _she_ would leave sooner and give me time to think of a way out, ""If I'm not doing anything, I'll call you or something."

"Great," _she_ smiled and ripped a small piece of paper from the notebook she was holding at her side. "I have to go to class so here's my number. Call me when you get the chance so I can add you to my contacts."

Shit. I thought for sure that _she_ wouldn't give me her number thinking that I already had it.

"I'll see you later Sora," _she_ waved.

I waved back weakly and watched _her_ leave. Once _she_ was out of sight, I leaned against the wall and let out a sigh.

That was a confrontation narrowly avoided.

Dealing with _her_ through texts should make it a lot easier to make up excuses. The first thing I needed to do was send _her_ a message so _she_ would get my number, otherwise _she_ might confront me personally again.

I have no intention of being _her_ friend again, so I need to work twice as hard to avoid _her_. I doubt _she_ would wait outside my classroom again, but I need to prepare in case she ever does it again.

Just thinking about it is giving me a headache.

To think it was just the beginning of the day...and I had to deal with the blond bitch after school.

Great.

* * *

"Today we have our first anonymous request," Aqua announced in an overly excited voice. How she managed to do that after a day of school was beyond me.

Both Namine and I remained silent as the student teacher went on.

"These should require advice more than anything, and you two are going to write back anonymously. I will check both of your suggestions first to make sure you two are taking this seriously."

With that said, Aqua left the envelope on the table in the middle of the room and left.

I looked at the lone envelope from my seat but noticed that Namine was looking at me, with a fiery gaze at that.

Since we were both sitting on opposite ends of the room, and we had to get up to get the envelope, I had a good idea of what she was trying to get me to do.

Well, screw you, I'm tired and am not getting up to get the envelope.

Namine clicked her tongue and went over to the table.

"What's it say?"

She smirked, placed the paper back on the envelope and took out a paper to write on.

Damn it, of course she would make me get up anyway, I would have done the same.

With a sigh I got up and took out the paper.

" _My friend and I had a fight. I'm trying to make things go back to normal but I can tell he doesn't. How can I make up with him?_ "

Hey, this is a lot easier than I thought, there's an answer in my mind already.

* * *

"Absolutely not," Aqua argued with my paper crumpled on her tight fist.

"What's wrong with my answer?"

"You're not taking it seriously! I told you to find a solution to the problem."

She slammed my paper on the desk for emphasis, giving me the chance to read it over again.

" _Your friendship is most likely dead. Bury it in peace."_

"I see no problem with it."

Aqua ran a hand through her hair in exasperation.

"Just write some stupid answer," Namine joined in. From the way she was sitting with her arms crossed and fingers drumming on the side of her arm I could tell that she was getting impatient. "She won't let me go home otherwise."

"Fine."

I took out another piece of paper, wrote something down on it, and handed it to Aqua who quickly began to read it.

Hey, what happened to the whole 'anonymous' thing?

" _If you feel your friendship is really important, then swallow your pride and apologize for fighting,_ " Aqua read with a pensive look before smiling in satisfaction, "See, you can write good advice if you put your mind to it."

"I thought they were supposed to be anonymous," Namine stated.

"Oh," Aqua appeared sheepish but quickly gathered herself and cleared her throat, "They're anonymous to the people you're sending the letters to. How else am I supposed to know that you two are taking this seriously?"

Just so you know, it's in incredibly bad taste to change the rules when you don't like them.

"Anyway, the two of you can go home now while I drop off these two letters."

"Drop them off where?" Namine asked.

Aqua smiled proudly, "We have our very own bin at the teacher's lounge. Students drop their letters there and no one else is allowed to read them except for us."

I was already at the door when she finished.

"Don't forget to come tomorrow!"

How could I? Besides, tomorrow is one of those days when I have to stay away from the house for a while.

This was very bothersome in the beginning since I had nothing to do and would aimlessly walk through town, but nowadays I would go to a library or a fast food joint with internet access.

Now, I don't think of myself as a special little snowflake, but was I the only person who would get paranoid when going somewhere out in public all by himself?

From feeling hundreds of eyes on me, to imagining everyone thinking I am a loser for going out all alone, there wasn't a single second when I felt comfortable. Of course, like everything, the more you do it the more natural it becomes. Slowly, my paranoid brain realized that no one was looking at me, they all had their own shit to do. No one cared about some random kid.

Not to mention that I got so good at making my presence barely noticeable that hardly anyone spoke to me in public...

It's not as sad as it sounds.

* * *

 _'Here it is, lat-'_

Nah, too strange.

 _'I sent you my number-'_

Too robotic.

I leaned against my seat and stared at my phone with a frown. Putting off sending _her_ a message until I got to the public library had been a mistake. At first I wanted to just send a blank message, but that would warrant _her_ to send something in exchange.

Let's see...

 _'Hey Kai-'_

Delete. Delete. Delete.

 _'Hey, here's my number so call me ma-'_

How the hell do I still know that song? And why is it so difficult to send a simple message?

 _'Hope you had a good day in school.'_

That's something a friend would say, right?

 _'Anyway, just messaging you so that you'll have my number. Later.'_

Okay, that was passable.

And send.

With that done, I can now go back to checking random sites on the internet. It was still only six, three hours until I could leave, and I'm already bored. Great.

Maybe I should try to do my homework for once? That would help kill time.

Just as I reached for my backpack, a foreign vibration struck my leg. At first I was thrown off but realized that it was only my phone.

Did _she_ send something back?

 _'I had a good day! :) What about you? I don't see you much at school... Maybe we could have lunch together again? It's been a while.'_

I take it back. I take it back!

It's not easy at all to deal with _her_ through texts!

I remained quiet for a moment, thinking things through until a thought finally struck me.

 _'Sorry, I can't tomorrow. A teacher wants to talk to me.'_

Not bad. I could even go talk to Aqua myself to make it legit just in case _she_ doesn't believe me.

Once again, my phone vibrated and I opened the new message.

 _'Too bad. :( '_

Hmm? Looks like she gave up-

Just as I felt great relief, my phone vibrated once again.

 _'Hey, why don't we hang out right now? I'm at home doing nothing, maybe I could drop by your place?"_

Not happening. My _home_ was not the place to visit in this particular day of the week.

 _'I'm not at home right now, sorry. A couple of friends invited me out.'_

…

 _'Oh okay. I'll text you later then. Have fun :)'_

Gah!

That was exhausting. While it doesn't look like _she's_ going to give up easily, at least I was finally freed from the strand of messages.

Just _you_ wait, I've pushed all of my old friends away, and _you_ won't be any different. It's time to get _you_ out of my life for good.


End file.
